I went out with some girlfriends on Friday night and met up with some other people I know. I was thrilled and dying for my poison of choice, vodka. Every other weekend is a childless weekend for me. Sometimes, the 12 days in between leave me in such a state that I'm like a kid at Christmas when its my weekend.
I was a bit anxious about the evening because I knew I'd run into someone in particular. This 'someone' and I have a chemistry that's palpable. We try to fight it but... some things cannot be denied. Or they can, but the denial makes it all the more desirable.
I told myself I would be a good girl. And then, my 'someone' came into view. We smiled, greeted and hugged, as normal. I'm not sure others could sense it but I knew, the good girl had just gone bad.
We'd all had a few but the vodka wasn't doing it for me. I switched to water in an attempt to stay sober and control my actions. But this someone was looking at me from across the table. This someone began caressing my hand. At the touch, I could feel parts of me melting. We knew we had to get away from the crowd.
I've talked to my soldier about this someone. He wasn't surprised, but in fact, wanted to hear all the details of the previous times I had been with this someone. My soldier knows that chemistry does not mean love. He knows that my heart belongs to him. Besides, he has something that this someone doesn't have.
I never know how to act around this someone. We try to play it cool. We're just taking a walk to the back of the bar, into a quiet place where no one can see us. I can't ever read if this someone is feeling the same craving as I am. I suppose I don't hide it as well.
Then, in the dimly lit privacy of our quiet place, this someone grabs my face and pulls me in for a passionate kiss. I'm already breathing heavier. I'm already feeling warm and my skin is tingling with energy. I feel hands on my breasts and I am riding the thigh of this someone. We want to tear the clothes off of each other.
"We can't do this here. What are we going to do? What if we get caught?"
It shouldn't be a big deal but we're both desperately trying to stay clothed, hands reaching under shirts, down into the darkness of jeans unfastened. We're panting, shaking, fighting the desire as it builds. Maybe it wouldn't be so intense if we'd never been there before. Maybe it wouldn't be so heated if it wasn't so forbidden.
We were interrupted. We didn't go any further. We smiled, readjusted our clothing and did our best to slow down our breathing.
"Surely we can meet another time. How and when?"
We both have busy schedules. The last time I saw this someone was 3 months ago at this same bar and... the same thing happened. We're never able to connect outside of the one-off chance we'll be out at the same time. This someone is in a relationship as well. And its sort of a complicated situation.
I'm not sure if we'll ever be able to get together and that's ok. Maybe its just something that feels good to both of us at the time. Maybe its just something that we both need as highly sexual individuals. We learned that we're quite alike in that aspect upon our initial meeting. Even then, we knew that something fiery would happen between us.
So, perhaps the next time we're at that little English pub, we'll still sneak off to our quiet place away from the crowd and let the heat build between us. It wouldn't be the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last time that....
I kissed a girl. And I liked it.
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